I blamed myself for being drunk

Originally published in monpimon.wordpress.com

I was at a University party.

I was not a heavy drinker in those days, but since I was surrounded by classmates in a friend’s hostel, I was feeling safe. Having become too intoxicated to move to the next stage of the party, my friend Bob told our classmate Peter  to take me to his room for safety.

Peter deposited me onto Bob’s bed, walked back to the door and turned the key, locking us in. He removed my jeans and knickers while I put up a very drunk feeble fight. I remember saying over and over “I don’t want this. Please stop. I don’t want this”.

That is all I will share about what transpired in that room. I was not raped but I will never forget how to Peter, I was not even a person. I was simply a hole he wanted to insert his penis into.

Suddenly there was a banging at the door. It was Bob.

“Peter, what’s going on?”, he shouted. “Why is this door locked? Open this door NOW!”

Peter quickly put my knickers back on and opened the door. Bob dragged him outside and I heard heavy words being exchanged. I covered myself up in a blanket so Bob could not see my state of undress.

Bob came back and showed me the key in his hand.

“Lindsey”, he said. “I’m so sorry. I’m locking you in and I’m the only person with the key. Only I will come back to get you. You’re safe now”.

When I next saw Peter in class, he did not register my presence. I left the room and avoided class for the rest of the semester.

I did not report Peter because I knew it was my fault for being drunk.


By curator, Lindsey Kukunda



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