Unrequited love is such a romantic theme, innit? As a little girl, I watched cartoons that featured a guy on a white horse being the main prize. The horse had to be white for the man to be considered as worthy of substance.
See? White horse
Look! Another white horse!
Why’d the horses all gotta be white tho’?
This is racism
Anyway. Some unknown scullery maid undeserving of the white horse owner’s attentions must be very pretty or have a silly fairy mother who makes her wear glass slippers.
So that she gets the white hor-I mean, the hot man
You’re probably wondering when I’m getting to the point. The point is the girls only chased the boys via Disney. As I grew up and evolved to letting my mind absorb more bullcrap, it was the turn of the men to chase suitably dainty and shy women by taking them by force.
Wench, I conquer thee!
So by the time we’re all grown up, the theory is the woman ain’t interested but it’s really cool and sexy if the man doesn’t stop trying till she says yes.
Okay. Enter Laura
One day a man met Laura Wamby, an African warrioress of Kenyan descent. He didn’t know her from Eve but he thought she was hot so he sent her Whatsapps applying for a position in her heart or her bed. Whatever. Wamby was no longer standing for any of this nonsense so she took a screen shot of his manly pleas and posted it on social media and tagged his employers because he’d used their database to get her number and people hated her for it and shit hit the fan.
How shit hit the fan
Evans dove in with zeal to accuse Laura of being on point with her profiling
This one decided we needed a bit of a laugh
Son of man forgot to specify which daughter of Obama he was talking about
Jeff pitied the attention seeker
Stephen preached compassion over silliness
But this brother’s pain went deep. Real deep
Let us thank all these participants of our study on male entitlement for demonstrating it so aptly. It almost looks like we paid them!