This is a story I shared on another platform many years ago, but I’ll summarize it quickly before getting into the meat of phase two of meeting rapist.
I’d been heading home when two men walking towards me suddenly stopped in unison and each man grabbed each of my wrists. The process of getting away from them was a painful one and after not leaving my house for three days I fled to Kigali to recover.
A few weeks ago, I was leaving home when I was accosted by four men. One of them reached for my wrist and jumped back and snapped my usual “Fuck you!”
Now I was about ten meters away from four men who clearly intended to do me harm. This was only 10.00 am in the morning. I quickly reached into my bag and pulled out my pepper spray. One of the men recognized it. He was wearing a cap.
“And you think we’re scared of your pepper spray”?, he sneered.
His voice. His sneer. It all came back. I recognized him instantly. I felt no rage, no sense of fear or the helplessness he’d instilled in me so many years ago. I only knew that that girl was long gone and now he and his friends were dealing with a new person.
“You’re not scared of my pepper spray?”, I told them all. “Fine. But before you get to me, one of you’s going to get hurt. Now if one of you is willing to hang around while another of you is screaming from the pain in his eyes, throat and salivating his stomach out, that’s your choice. But one of you is going to get it. Make a choice”.
I always like to give them a choice. Makes it fair.
There was a Clint Eastwood stand-off before one of the men grumbled, “Come on, let’s go. Let’s leave this one alone”.
My ‘friend’ did not want to go. He wanted to teach me a lesson. His friends had to drag him away. I felt grateful to know that the work I’ve been doing, on myself and for other women, has not been wasted. Learning to be assertive, aggressive, show my teeth and fight for my life and my rights.
But this story would have turned out differently if I’d not had that pepper spray in my hand. I know that I have the capacity to get out of these situations with my attitude and tone of voice alone.
But so many women don’t. I implore you, if you fall in that category, before you learn that you are not always capable of falling prey to the men that fall in the trash category, to buy my pepper spray.
Follow my Facebook page to send my team a message: https://www.facebook.com/notyourbody.ug/
It looks pretty but it makes you feel stronger